One of my favorite things to do at MOPS was to host panels.  I thoroughly enjoyed the free flow of conversation and ideas being swapped.  Was invited to be a part of the panel this year but had to miss due to sick kiddos.  Posting the questions here so I can pick them up and generate a little discussion from time to time.  These mothers had some fantastic questions!  My husband and I enjoyed brainstorming the rekindle romance question during a recent date.  Conversation starters like these are invaluable!!!  Take your pick and have a stab at one:)

Hello Ladies!

Here are some of the questions for our MOM’s Panel on Tuesday, November 10^th.

Please let me know if you have any other questions or topics you would like them to include.

1. How do I fit in exercise when I have so many chores!!

2. How do you get your kids on a good  sleep schedule?

3. How can you rekindle the romance? (please don’t say “date night”)

4. How do you get your husband to pitch in with chores around the house when he is just as overwhelmed and super busy?

5. Why do kids get so “sassy”? Getting it from school – what can you do to stop it?

6. My house is very unorganized & stuff is all over the place

Where do I begin? Where can I start?

I get motivated if someone is helping me, but there is no one

7. I have an EXTREMELY shy and stubborn 3-yr-old.  He refuses to speak with anyone even when with his parents.  He will even refuse to speak with extended family members that we see ona frequent basis.  Any suggestions on how to encourage him to speak?

8. When I am away from my child for a long time I feel bad scolding him and saying no so much because the time we get to spend together is limited.  How do I carry out the discipline and mold the child I want?  I feel like I only make it worse and he acts out only with me.

9. Ideas for thanking /showing appreciation to  family members / babysitters / other moms that watch your kids when the budget and time are very tight?

Often when we transition from one season to the next this passage comes to mind and I revisit the question “Lord am I where you want me to be in this season of my life?”  Especially since my youngest went to school full time last fall this question churns in my heart almost daily.  But I am waiting on Him to reveal to me each day His plan and will for my life. And to keep me from being anxious, I’d like to place His words here so that I can revisit them and find comfort in His promises.

There is a time for everything,
and a season fore every activity under heaven:

a time to be born and a time to die,

a time to plant and a time to uproot,

a time to kill and a time to heal,

a time to tear down and a time to build,

a time to weep and a time to laugh,

a time to mourn and a time to dance,

a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

a time embrace and a time to refrain,

a time to search and a time to give up,

a time to keep and a time to throw away,

a time to tear and a time to mend,

a time to be silent and a time to speak,

a time to love and a time to hate,

a time for war and a time for peace.

What does the worker gain from his toil?  I have seen the burden God has laid on men.  He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

Ecclesiastes 3: 1-11

I think these career possibilities fit me better though….

ISFJs generally have the following traits:

* Large, rich inner store of information which they gather about people
* Highly observant and aware of people’s feelings and reactions
* Excellent memory for details which are important to them
* Very in-tune with their surroundings – excellent sense of space and function
* Can be depended on to follow things through to completion
* Will work long and hard to see that jobs get done
* Stable, practical, down-to-earth – they dislike working with theory and abstract thought
* Dislike doing things which don’t make sense to them
* Value security, tradition, and peaceful living
* Service-oriented: focused on what people need and want
* Kind and considerate
* Likely to put others’ needs above their own
* Learn best with hands-on training
* Enjoy creating structure and order
* Take their responsibilities seriously
* Extremely uncomfortable with conflict and confrontation

ISFJs have two basic traits which help define their best career direction: 1) they are extremely interested and in-tune with how other people are feeling, and 2) they enjoy creating structure and order, and are extremely good at it. Ideally, the ISFJ will choose a career in which they can use their exceptional people-observation skills to determine what people want or need, and then use their excellent organizational abilities to create a structured plan or environment for achieving what people want. Their excellent sense of space and function combined with their awareness of aesthetic quality also gives them quite special abilities in the more practical artistic endeavors, such as interior decorating and clothes design.

The following list of professions is built on our impressions of careers which would be especially suitable for an ISFJ. It is meant to be a starting place, rather than an exhaustive list. There are no guarantees that any or all of the careers listed here would be appropriate for you, or that your best career match is among those listed.

Possible Career Paths for the ISFJ:

* Interior Decorators
* Designers
* Nurses
* Administrators and Managers
* Administrative Assistants
* Child Care / Early Childhood Development
* Social Work / Counselors
* Paralegals
* Clergy / Religious Workers
* Office Managers
* Shopkeepers
* Bookkeepers
* Home Economics

Whether you’re a young adult trying to find your place in the world, or a not-so-young adult trying to find out if you’re moving along the right path, it’s important to understand yourself and the personality traits which will impact your likeliness to succeed or fail at various careers. It’s equally important to understand what is really important to you. When armed with an understanding of your strengths and weaknesses, and an awareness of what you truly value, you are in an excellent position to pick a career which you will find rewarding.

ISTJs generally have the following traits:

* Value tradition, security, and peaceful living
* Will work long and hard to fulfill duties
* Can be depended on to follow through on tasks
* Loyal and faithful
* Stable, practical and down-to-earth
* Family-minded
* Dislike doing things which don’t make sense to them
* Dislike abstract theory, unless they see the practical application
* Natural leaders
* Prefer to work alone, but work well in teams when necessary
* Extremely observant, they take in facts via their senses and store them internally
* Vast, rich inner store of facts which they rely on to understand problems which they encounter in their lives
* Profound respect for facts and concrete information
* Make decisions objectively, applying logic and rational thinking
* Dislike change, unless they are shown it’s benefit in a concrete way
* Have strong opinions about the way things should be done
* Appreciate structured, orderly environments
* Have very high standards for their own behavior and the behavior of others
* Not naturally in-tune with other people’s feelings
* Able to accomplish almost anything if they put their minds to it
* Community minded “good citizens”

ISTJs have one character trait which puts them at a definite advantage in terms of career success – Perserverance. An ISTJ can do almost anything that they have decided to do. However, there are areas in which they will function more happily and naturally. An ISTJ will do best in a career in which they can use their excellent organizational skills and their powers of concentration to create order and structure. ISTJs seem to fit extremely well into the Management and Executive layer of the corporate business world.

The following list of professions is built on our impressions of careers which would be especially suitable for an ISTJ. It is meant to be a starting place, rather than an exhaustive list. There are no guarantees that any or all of the careers listed here would be appropriate for you, or that your best career match is among those listed.

Possible Career Paths for the ISTJ:

* Business Executives, Administrators and Managers
* Accountants and Financial Officers
* Police and Detectives
* Judges
* Lawyers
* Medical Doctors / Dentists
* Computer Programmers, Systems Analysts, and Computer Specialists
* Military Leaders

I found this to be about 99% true….

Portrait of an ISTJ – Introverted Sensing Thinking Judging
(Introverted Sensing with Extraverted Thinking)
The Duty Fulfiller

As an ISTJ, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you take things in via your five senses in a literal, concrete fashion. Your secondary mode is external, where you deal with things rationally and logically.

ISTJs are quiet and reserved individuals who are interested in security and peaceful living. They have a strongly-felt internal sense of duty, which lends them a serious air and the motivation to follow through on tasks. Organized and methodical in their approach, they can generally succeed at any task which they undertake.

ISTJs are very loyal, faithful, and dependable. They place great importance on honesty and integrity. They are “good citizens” who can be depended on to do the right thing for their families and communities. While they generally take things very seriously, they also usually have an offbeat sense of humor and can be a lot of fun – especially at family or work-related gatherings.

ISTJs tend to believe in laws and traditions, and expect the same from others. They’re not comfortable with breaking laws or going against the rules. If they are able to see a good reason for stepping outside of the established mode of doing things, the ISTJ will support that effort. However, ISTJs more often tend to believe that things should be done according to procedures and plans. If an ISTJ has not developed their Intuitive side sufficiently, they may become overly obsessed with structure, and insist on doing everything “by the book”.

The ISTJ is extremely dependable on following through with things which he or she has promised. For this reason, they sometimes get more and more work piled on them. Because the ISTJ has such a strong sense of duty, they may have a difficult time saying “no” when they are given more work than they can reasonably handle. For this reason, the ISTJ often works long hours, and may be unwittingly taken advantage of.

The ISTJ will work for long periods of time and put tremendous amounts of energy into doing any task which they see as important to fulfilling a goal. However, they will resist putting energy into things which don’t make sense to them, or for which they can’t see a practical application. They prefer to work alone, but work well in teams when the situation demands it. They like to be accountable for their actions, and enjoy being in positions of authority. The ISTJ has little use for theory or abstract thinking, unless the practical application is clear.

ISTJs have tremendous respect for facts. They hold a tremendous store of facts within themselves, which they have gathered through their Sensing preference. They may have difficulty understanding a theory or idea which is different from their own perspective. However, if they are shown the importance or relevance of the idea to someone who they respect or care about, the idea becomes a fact, which the ISTJ will internalize and support. Once the ISTJ supports a cause or idea, he or she will stop at no lengths to ensure that they are doing their duty of giving support where support is needed.

The ISTJ is not naturally in tune with their own feelings and the feelings of others. They may have difficulty picking up on emotional needs immediately, as they are presented. Being perfectionists themselves, they have a tendency to take other people’s efforts for granted, like they take their own efforts for granted. They need to remember to pat people on the back once in a while.

ISTJs are likely to be uncomfortable expressing affection and emotion to others. However, their strong sense of duty and the ability to see what needs to be done in any situation usually allows them to overcome their natural reservations, and they are usually quite supporting and caring individuals with the people that they love. Once the ISTJ realizes the emotional needs of those who are close to them, they put forth effort to meet those needs.

The ISTJ is extremely faithful and loyal. Traditional and family-minded, they will put forth great amounts of effort at making their homes and families running smoothly. They are responsible parents, taking their parenting roles seriously. They are usually good and generous providers to their families. They care deeply about those close to them, although they usually are not comfortable with expressing their love. The ISTJ is likely to express their affection through actions, rather than through words.

ISTJs have an excellent ability to take any task and define it, organize it, plan it, and implement it through to completion. They are very hard workers, who do not allow obstacles to get in the way of performing their duties. They do not usually give themselves enough credit for their achievements, seeing their accomplishments simply as the natural fulfillment of their obligations.

ISTJs usually have a great sense of space and function, and artistic appreciation. Their homes are likely to be tastefully furnished and immaculately maintained. They are acutely aware of their senses, and want to be in surroundings which fit their need for structure, order, and beauty.

Under stress, ISTJs may fall into “catastrophe mode”, where they see nothing but all of the possibilities of what could go wrong. They will berate themselves for things which they should have done differently, or duties which they failed to perform. They will lose their ability to see things calmly and reasonably, and will depress themselves with their visions of doom.

In general, the ISTJ has a tremendous amount of potential. Capable, logical, reasonable, and effective individuals with a deeply driven desire to promote security and peaceful living, the ISTJ has what it takes to be highly effective at achieving their chosen goals – whatever they may be.

Jungian functional preference ordering:

Dominant: Introverted Sensing
Auxiliary: Extraverted Thinking
Tertiary: Introverted Feeling
Inferior: Extraverted Intuition

This information was forwarded to me in an email. Certainly, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. So I thought I would pass these tips along. Take care of yourself everyone!

Some precautions to take. The following advice, given by Dr. Oz, makes a lot of sense and is important for all to know:

The only portals of entry are the nostrils and mouth/throat. In a global epidemic of this nature, it’s almost impossible to avoid coming into contact with H1N1 in spite of all precautions. Contact with H1N1 is not so much of a problem as proliferation is. While you are still healthy and not showing any symptoms of H1N1 infection, in order to prevent proliferation, aggravation of symptoms and development of secondary infections, some very simple steps, not fully highlighted in most official communications, can be practiced (instead of focusing on how to stock N95 or Tamiflu):

1. Frequent hand-washing (well highlighted in all official communications).

2. “Hands-off-the-face” approach. Resist all temptations to touch any part of face (unless you want to eat or bathe.)

3.. *Gargle twice a day with warm salt water (use Listerine or Hydrogen Peroxide if you don’t trust salt). *H1N1 takes 2-3 days after initial infection in the throat/ nasal cavity to proliferate and show characteristic symptoms. Simple gargling prevents proliferation. In a way, gargling with salt water has the same effect on a healthy individual that Tamiflu has on an infected one. Don’t underestimate this simple, inexpensive and powerful preventative method.

4. Similar to 3 above, *clean your nostrils at least once every day with warm salt water, or hydrogen peroxide. *Not everybody may be good at Jala Neti or Sutra Neti (very good Yoga asanas to clean nasal cavities), but *blowing the nose softly once a day and swabbing both nostrils with cotton buds dipped in warm salt water is very effective in bringing down viral population.*

5. *Boost your natural immunity with foods that are rich in Vitamin C (Amla and other citrus fruits). *If you have to supplement with Vitamin C tablets, make sure that it also has Zinc to boost absorption.

6. *Drink as much of warm liquids (tea, coffee, etc..) as you can. *Drinking warm liquids has the same effect as gargling, but in the reverse direction. They wash off proliferating viruses from the throat into the stomach where they cannot survive, proliferate or do any harm.

Pass this on to your entire e-list. You never know who might pay attention to it – and STAY ALIVE because of it.

There’s nothing more cozy than the smell of something sweet baking in the oven on a frosty morning. Brown bananas awaiting my attention on the kitchen counter were begging to be transformed into bread after I got everyone off to school. God often speaks to me through common jobs like these. While mashing the bananas I was reminded that like those bruised unattractive fruits, the Lord can take my hurts, misfortune, and brokeness and make something sweet, aromatic and pleasing to Him. As I added the eggs, oil, baking powder, baking soda, sugar, flour and a dash of salt, He assured me that every ingredient of my life serves a purpose. No two are the same. Each adds something unique. Every person, every experience, every day makes a contribution in my transformation.

I unwound the cord from around the blender and remembered what my mother said when she gave it to me many years ago. She prayed that God would do His work as He blended my husband’s and my life together. This is true of so many things in life where people come together whether in a marriage, at work, on a team, in church or community. God uses all of us working together, each playing a special role and nothing can be left out. What would happen if I left out that dash of salt? It’s seems so small and insignificant. Yet I know it reacts with one of the other ingredients to make the bread rise and grow. Or what if I disregard the eggs? They have that hard shell that’s not always easy to get past and then once I crack it, shell bits get into the batter. But without it the batter would not gel together. That baking powder tastes so bitter, maybe I shouldn’t put it in. No, it plays a necessary role too. Every part presents it own set of strengths and weaknesses. Every person does too. When we take a close look at a person we can choose to either see them for their weak parts and disqualify them or their strong attributes and include them.

God’s word says in Romans 12, “For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you. Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts according to the grace given us. If a man’s gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith. If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully.”  The word we see over and over again here is LET.  For one reason or another we may not want to let the ingredients of our life do their work on us.  Perhaps it’s a resistance to change or maybe our pride is being nudged.

I Corinthians 12 has even more to say. “The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body…. If the foot should say, ‘Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,’ it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. And if the ear should say, ‘Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,’ it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body. The eye can not say to the hand, ‘I don’t need you!’ And the head cannot say to the feet, ‘I don’t need you!’ On the contrary those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor.”

So whether you’re a nearly rotten banana, a snowy white cup of flour, a saccharine sweet mound of sugar, a gooey egg or a dash of salt accept your role in the recipe of life and allow God to blend the other ingredients with yours to produce a life of sweet offering to Lord.

I nearly laughed out loud when I read this e-votional. My blog entry over a year ago with the same title attempted to make the same point. I’m glad I’m not the only one thinking along these lines.

“You are to go into all the world and preach [communicate] the good news to everyone everywhere.”1

One writer pointed out that there is a scene in “Winnie the Pooh” that goes something like the following:

Pooh: “Did you fall into the river, Eeyore?”

Eeyore: “Silly of me, wasn’t it?”

Pooh: “Is the river uncomfortable this morning?”

Eeyore: “Well, yes, the dampness you know.”

Pooh: “You really ought to be more careful!”

Eeyore: “Thanks for the advice.”

Pooh: “I think you’re sinking.”

Eeyore: “Pooh, if it’s not too much trouble, would you mind rescuing me?”

How sad when people all around us, among other things, are lost without Christ and we discuss outreach, form outreach committees, conduct seminars on outreach, read books about outreach, and do everything in the church except outreach.

Somebody else said, “If you see a poisonous snake in your kitchen, just kill it. Don’t appoint a committee on snakes!” Just kill it—or at least remove it to a safe place!

And as Meg Stawinski says in her book, Confessions of a Supermarket Evangelist, about a church she used to attend, as you exited the church parking lot there was a sign that read: “You are now entering the mission field.”

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, every day please help me to be ‘as Christ’ in some way to every life I touch—no matter where I am—and always be prepared to share a timely word about you as opportunity presents itself. And grant that our home will always be a house of blessing to all who enter in. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Jesus in the Gospel of Mark 16:15 (TLB … NLT)

NOTE: To have a vital role in God’s plan to reach the world with the saving gospel of Jesus Christ, please consider joining the People Power for Jesus group. See www.actsweb.org/people_power.

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In my early years our family did a lot of moving. I distinctly remember at one point thinking that everyone moves every other year. I recall the move from Seaford, Delaware to Cliftmont Avenue in Baltimore. It was sad to say goodbye to all that seemed just fine. The tree house in the back yard, the playground nearby and the little girl across the street. As we drove down the long layered streets of row houses I asked my mother, “Why does that house have so many doors on it?” It was like moving to a foreign country in my young eyes and perhaps even produced a bit of culture shock.

There were not many children in my new neighborhood. So I mainly played with my sisters which could be great or not so great (as with most siblings). They always wanted me to play the witch and I didn’t want to be the witch. And when I tried to be a typical big sister doling out a bit of correction and direction they would say, “OK …MOM!” real nasty like. I didn’t want to be a mom either. They just had this chemistry with each other that apparently was not included in my DNA.

Being a shy girl who was sixteen months older than twin sisters which often drew a lot of attention, I suppose I chose to stay out of the way and let everyone bask in their magnificent cuteness. Oh yes, I was jealous. They had all sorts of adorable nicknames. Often, people would approach me and ask, “How are your sisters?” before they would even bother to ask, “How are you?” Even though today we are very close and communicate often, at the time my sisters just could not fill that spot in my heart that could only be filled with a friend.

For a while I thought my struggle with friend making had something to do with being ugly. I was lanky and awkward. Always chosen last for teams at school. Not very quick or witty. Buck teeth erupted from my face. By my preteen years it appeared that you might be able to harvest that stuff on top of my head and produce a garment of clothing. And arriving to school early where I had to figure out what to say to people who did not like me felt like inhuman torture.

Eventually, I concluded that being the pastor’s daughter did not work in my favor either. We had so many “I’m not allowed to” rules imposed on us that many peers could not relate to our lifestyle and, without realizing it, I think our family alienated ourselves from the very community we wanted to reach out to. I have more recently come to observe that this phenomenon may exist with other children whose parents’ position in the community creates a hierarchy which renders them unapproachable.

So what generated this trip down memory lane? NOW I am attempting to be am ambassador of friendship on my sons’ behalf. Two of my boys are diagnosed with autistic spectrum disorders which can make the whole friend making journey exceedingly complicated. What if my son is trying to be friends with someone who does not seem to reciprocate that sentiment? What do I do if someone tries to be my son’s friend and I am leery of the potential for negative influence? What do I do if my son doesn’t want to be friends with anybody and nobody wants to be friends with him either? And if somebody finally seems to want to be friends with him, how can I be sure he will be okay? How do I gradually cut the apron strings and allow my son to go places where I am not and have peace that he is safe? What if he wants to walk down “that street”? Is it foolish for me to let him go there? Should I place more trust in the creator of the universe to be with my boys no matter where they walk? Will my boys be the influencers or the influenced? Should I play it safe and try to steer them towards peers which appear to have “good” families? Is my family “good” enough for the “good” families? Will those “good” families feel threatened by us? How can I live out my conviction to raise a family that is in this world but not of it? I do not want to choose only the safety of the fish bowl but I am honestly afraid of the ocean!

This is a lesson that I need to have drilled through my head constantly. My melancholy nature gravitates towards what isn’t. Daily I must choose contentment. This www.actsweb.org e-votional was a helpful reminder today…..

“I [the Apostle Paul] have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.”1

In a Peanuts cartoon Lucy asks Charlie Brown, “Why do you think we were put on earth?”

Charlie answers, “To make others happy.”

Lucy replies: “I don’t think I’m making anyone happy,” and then adds, “But, nobody’s making me very happy either. Somebody’s not doing his job!”

I know this may sound simplistic but in a very real sense happiness is a choice. Too many people in our Hollywood-crazed way of thinking expect other people to make them happy. People talk about finding the right partner to marry which is all back to front. To find the right partner we need to be the right partner. The fact is that only happy partners make happy marriages, and the only person who can ever make us happy is one’s self.

Furthermore, happiness and/or contentment is not only a choice, it is a decision, a commitment to action and to personal honesty that requires a good hard, honest look at ourselves, and then a whole lot of hard work to resolve all the things in our lives that hinder happiness and/or make us unhappy.

The starting point for finding happiness and contentment is by making up your mind that you will no longer look to anyone else to make you happy; that no matter what, you will accept responsibility for doing what you need to do to find happiness; and above all, by learning to pray the right prayer such as the following:

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please confront me with the truth about me—no matter how much it hurts—and reveal to me any and every unresolved issue in my life that is hindering my finding contentment and lasting happiness—whether the problem be emotional, spiritual and/or physical. And please lead me to the help I need to overcome. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”