Contentment

I’ve been asking God to help me show love to my husband. One day this week I walked into the kitchen to find a monstrous looking vegetation that resembled a gigantic broccoli stalk about 3 feet long with miniature cabbages all over it… brussel sprouts fresh from the farmers market. My “what da?” expression quickly spread across my face. Then I could see somewhat hurt feelings expression surfacing on Sean’s face. God helped me to lasso in my reaction, suck it up, and graciously tackle the project with a chuckle. He helped me to be grateful for my brussel sprout bouqette.

“But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destrction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs. But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, and endurance and gentleness.” I Timothy 6:6-11

What is a man?

First, I have to exclaim A MAN IS NOT A WOMAN!!!!!! Some pinheaded feminist chicks who were permanently stuck in PMS mode at some point in time managed to convince our society that men and women are all the same….. WRONG! Men do not develop or think or communicate or problem solve or perceive the same way that women do. I have to confess that there have been plenty of times when I looked at my husband and wondered what planet he was from because we just were not on the same wave length. Originally I thought this guy is a little nuts, but recently, I have begun to understand that he is just different, not deficient.

My brother-in-law (Travis) e-mailed me a video he made several months back. He walked around a nearby city and randomly picked people to answer the question, “What is a man?” I had hoped to attach it here, but I haven’t figured out how yet. Maybe later. Anyway, it was really funny how this one guy just stood there with a completely blank stare. Travis added in crickets chirping. It was a riot!

This question is addressed in several books I have read over the past few years. (Bringing Up Boys, Raising a Modern Day Knight, Better to Build Boys Than Mend Men, Raising Sons And Loving It, That’s My Son: How Moms Can Influence Boys to Become Men of Character) It’s a question I need to consider. If I want my boys to become men, I need to have a clear definition of this goal in my mind. Unfortunately, many men today don’t have a foggy clue the answer to this question. Our warped media has skewed the masculine image and made men out to be nothing but a bunch a morons. Sad to say, I believe my generation has bought it and if we’re not intentional about raising our boys to be real men, our country will be severely vulnerable.

Another resource I haven’t gotten to yet is a CD that Sean and I picked up at the Family Life Marriage Conference a few months back. It’s called Tender Warrior: Every Man’s Purpose, Every Woman’s Dream, Every Child’s Hope. That phrase “tender warrior” briefly sums up what I think defines a real man. He is a leader, a protector, and provider. He is strong, resilient, reliable, and courageous. Yet he is still gentle, kind, respectful, and humble. Servanthood is no threat to his masculinity.

In six short years, I will be launching my first son into college. My prayer is that, with God’s help, he will become a young man that exhibits these qualities.

What do you think a man is?

For Women Only

I’ve been reading For Women Only: What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men by Shaunti Feldhahn. It’s yet another book in my mile high stack to understand my husband and improve our relationship. Listen to some of these chapter titles… How I woke up to what I didn’t know about men Why your respect means more to him than even your affection Why your mr.smooth looks so impressive but feels like an impostor How his need to provide weighs your man down and why he likes it that way Why sex unlocks a man’s emotions (guess who holds the key?) Why it’s so natural for him to look and so hard to forget what he’s seen Why the reluctant clod you know really does want romance Why what’s on the outside matters to him on the inside What your man most wishes you knew about him Respect and trust are the key things I’m honestly wrestling with right now. Yesterday afternoon we talked about our satisfaction with our home. Trying to find contentment. We have been hit with so many repairs and projects that sometimes it’s hard to like our house. We listed the pros and cons of keeping verses selling our house. To me, this is a no brainer, just keep the house and press forward. He on the other hand wants me to call the realtor so we can take a look at a house out State Street that I suspect is condemable, but sits on two acres. (You can take the man out of the country, but you can’t take the country out of the man) So back to respect and trust. Can I respect him even when his opinion doesn’t seem to make sense to me? Can I trust him to make a final decision even if I might not agree? I know from this book that he needs me to trust him. So how about you? Is this hard for you too? Note: My intentions are not to dishonor or slam my husband. I love him and genuinely care for him. I’m just curious how other woman have worked through these issues and would like your feedback. (Well I gotta go call the realtor now…)