Have a New Kid by Friday

Kevin Leman is one of my all time favorite Christian authors. He doesn’t know I have unofficially adopted him. His most recent release, Have a New Kid by Friday: How to Change Your Child’s Attitude, Behavior & Character in 5 Days has been fine tuning my approach to disciplining my children. He suggests a very no nonsense common sense strategy which is pretty simple to understand but very difficult to apply. All of us carry the baggage of how we were raised and how our parents were raised. Breaking unhealthy patterns is a real challenge. While you may not want to do things the way your parents did, you do not want to swing to an equally ineffective extreme either. It’s important to resist the urge to be a panzy permissive parent if you grew up with hard nosed authoritarian parents. The reverse is true as well.

Three of the main points he makes are this:
1. Let reality be the teacher. Stop saving your child from having to pay natural consequences for poor choices.

2. Learn to respond rather than react. Cut out the emotional ping pong game you play with your kids. Believe it or not, it feeds the little monster.

3. B doesn’t happen until A is completed. It’s the simple idea of work comes before play.

This past Sunday our ABF class explored some proverbs which encourage parents to discipline their children. Take a look…

Prov 13:24 He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.

Prov 19:18 Discipline your son, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to his death.

Prov 22:6 Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.

Prov 22:15 Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him.

Prov 23:13-14 Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die. Punish him with the rod and save his soul from death.

What do you think? Are you ready to have a new kid by Friday?

Outward appearance

“But the Lord said to Samuel, ‘Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.’” I Samuel 16:7

It’s sad, but true, people will come to conclusions based on how you look or where you live or what you drive.  At a glance, you can be qualified or disqualified.  Because we can not see the motives of men’s hearts like the Lord does, we may tend to make decisions about people without really knowing them. We size each other up rather superficially. We jump to conclusions without looking at the whole picture. This is why we try to make ourselves presentable.  So while it is important not to be sloppy, it is just as necessary not to be obsessed. It steals time and resources from maintaining your inner character. I enjoy fashion just as much as the next person, but I’m getting better at keeping these priorities straight. Inner beauty requires more time and attention than outward appearances.

Have you ever caught yourself assuming like that?  You look at someone and conclude. “I bet that person is trustworthy.”  “They seem to have it all together.”