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Years ago, in a season of frustration, I looked for verses in my Bible with the word “wait” in them. I was fed up with my circumstances and was tired of waiting for God to change them. Several spoke to my heart specifically and I jotted them on index cards and tucked them in my Bible. Within the last year I rediscovered one of them and decided to print it on a small square of paper and tape it on the corner of my computer monitor.
“I am still confident of this. I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; Be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.” Psalm 27:13-14
I’m learning to be less of an impatient, dissatisfied waiter and more of a thankful seer. “I will SEE the goodness of the Lord.” Maybe this verse has a different meaning than I had originally perceived. I need to stop waiting for God to do what I think he should do within my time frame and SEE his goodness now.
So this week, as we all are, I am greecing my thankful wheels and seeing the goodness. How about you?
Kenny didn’t know about his diagnosis until a few months ago. He figured it out while reading The Game of My Life which is about a boy with autism. Anyway, I was reading through this article and appreciated the simplicity of the explanation. Kenny isn’t ready to tell his friends about his diagnosis yet, but I thought I’d save this article here for future reference. Also, thought it would help my friends better understand his diagnosis.
Question
How should a 14-year-old boy with Asperger’s explain to a neurotypical friend what Asperger’s is?
Answer
Here is a good script for a 14-year-old to follow: (Notes might be helpful and your son should practice this with you before he talks to a friend.)
“Asperger’s is a form of autism. When I say autism, I mean that there’s a little difference in how my brain is put together. It’s probably been there since I was born, and it’s affecting me as I grow up. What I have is called Asperger’s Syndrome. The symptoms I have were first seen by a guy named Asperger. It can affect my language, awareness of my senses, my movements, and emotions. Asperger’s can’t be cured, but there are things like medications out there that can help me deal with it. It doesn’t make me weird or wrong or inferior; it’s a different way of experiencing the world that most people don’t understand.”
“You might have heard me say a lot of up front things to people, and that’s one of the differences. Kids with Asperger’s Syndrome say exactly what they mean without being aware of what can happen. We might not be aware of the consequences of what we say. Someone might hear me say something, and they might think I meant something else, or someone might get offended at what I say. I don’t mean to put people off or offend them, but that’s the way the words come out, and I’m not always aware of how people will react. On the other hand, some people will see me as being totally honest, but not offensive. It depends on the person who I’m talking to, but I don’t mean to offend anyone. I need help in saying things carefully so that I don’t hurt people’s feelings.”
“Another situation I have trouble dealing with is body language. The way people move or sit can say a lot about how they feel. Sometimes, I make mistakes when I see other people’s body language. I can’t get a handle on facial expressions and what they mean. If I’m talking with someone and they’re being subtle with their body language, I won’t notice it, and I don’t get what they’re saying with their body language. It can make the other person angry or frustrated or confused, but, with time and some help, I can make myself more aware of what someone means by their body language.”
“Hey, there’s one really huge difference that I go through. I don’t really care about being cool, and some people think I’m going against a lot of other people, but that’s not what I’m trying to do. It might make people give me a hard time or think I’m out there, but I’m not. I just have my own special interests.”
“When I go to a movie and the sound is loud, I don’t like it. I don’t even want to be in a movie theatre if there’re loud noises or a lot of lights flashing, like in the sci-fi movies. It makes me just want to go home to get away from it. Sometimes sounds and lights are so intense that they actually hurt me.”
“But there’s one thing I hope you’ll understand. Having Asperger’s isn’t all bad. I’m honest, caring, and really smart. The doctor said that there’re a lot of really successful people, like doctors, authors, and business people with Asperger’s. If you want to ask me any questions, I’ll answer them as best I can.”
In addition to using the above script, read the book Asperger’s Download: A Guide to Help Teenage Males with Asperger’s Syndrome Trouble-Shoot Life’s Challenges by Josie and Damian Santomauro.
This book is a terrific resource for adolescents and their parents. It discusses some of the life passages in young adulthood, and it is written in terms that teenagers find understandable. It has relevance and authenticity based on the author’s personal experiences, and it can help your son get through his teen years with less interpersonal conflict.
Thanks for reading and enjoy your week,
Dave Angel
Here I am dabbling in facebook now and I’ve barely learned all the ropes of blogging. Several skills I have yet to master. Would anybody be willing to enlighten me?
1. Read about it here and you can click on “here” to go to another link?
2. I’ve seen entire scripture passages pasted to a post?
3. You Tube videos?
4. Customize your home page with your own pictures?
5. Have comments automatically sent to your e-mail?
6. New posts from your favorite bloggers automatically e-mailed? Some seem to have subscribe others don’t.
Please excuse my blondness, but I’d appreciate your help.
During my boys preschool years attempts at a family game night were usually unsuccessful. Inevitably someone would divert our attention with their laundry list of needs. Even when we managed to get a game going, it was never quite like I had invisioned before I became a parent. I thought game night was a gleeful family bonding experience where everyone smiled and laughed and drank soda like you see on the box top. Oh no! Not us! We struggled to cope with the disapointments that come along with a little friendly competition. It would turn not-so-friendly before we could even finish the game.
Now before you pack up your games and leave us pour sports to our lonesome, keep this in mind. We do MUCH better when an outsider enters the picture. And now that all four boys are school aged, a few more years of maturity have engaged our self control. We’re getting much better at wishing our opponents a “good game” at the end, win or loose… most of the time.
Anyway, the next trick is to find games that all of us can play and genuinely enjoy together regardless of our varying ages and skill levels. I have found that Uno Spin seems to meet that criteria. Do you have any games you would recommend?
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